2009: something that is completely and utterly awful on many levels. Just like our tragic year of late, 2009 sucks. Once the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2009—2009 will forever signify infinite crappiness. From housing market crashes to banking crises and budget cuts and furlough days—this siege of shit never ends. It’s a like modern day spin of the biblical plagues of yore. God thought to himself in 2008, I must do something to get through to these earthly creatures. The populace of today won’t care about locusts, animals dying or water turning into blood, humans have science to fix all of that. Why don’t I do something that is really traumatic—take their money away and turn their economy upside-down!
Something that is 2009 is as high on the lame list as the rising rate of unemployment. As soon as you think that things couldn’t get any worse, it can. Case in point: you loose your job, your boyfriend dumps you, you find out your apartment (that you rented post-break-up) has cockroaches, you car breaks down and you have a death in the family. Now that is soo 2009.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
FKS
FKS: formerly known as sane. You have all had this happen to you, you meet someone who you think is super cool. You can't believe how well you guys are getting along. You start hanging out all the time. After a while you notice that there is something a bit off about her. First it manifests itself in an irrational outburst, she just snaps at you abruptly for nothing and she blames it on having a bad day. The next time, she doesn't like where you want to grab dinner and lucky for you she offered to pick you up and graciously leaves you out there on the side of the road. She calls later to apologize and come back to get you blaming it on her time of the month.
You start to wonder why she is free all the time, then you it hits you like her sudden outbursts of anger—she is a complete and utter headcase! So you try and back off from your new found friendship, but now she calls you all the time. You make up excuses and try to avoid her calls, but in true crazy person form they won't give up! The last time you hung out, she threw an eight-year-old hissy fit in the middle of a crosswalk and refused to get up, you almost wanted to throw her a bottle. Finally, you can't take it anymore and you have it out, and predictably, she handles it really well. If by well you mean that she only break three vases and luckily you ducked out of the way.
You start to wonder why she is free all the time, then you it hits you like her sudden outbursts of anger—she is a complete and utter headcase! So you try and back off from your new found friendship, but now she calls you all the time. You make up excuses and try to avoid her calls, but in true crazy person form they won't give up! The last time you hung out, she threw an eight-year-old hissy fit in the middle of a crosswalk and refused to get up, you almost wanted to throw her a bottle. Finally, you can't take it anymore and you have it out, and predictably, she handles it really well. If by well you mean that she only break three vases and luckily you ducked out of the way.
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