2009

2009: something that is completely and utterly awful on many levels. Just like our tragic year of late, 2009 sucks. Once the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2009—2009 will forever signify infinite crappiness. From housing market crashes to banking crises and budget cuts and furlough days—this siege of shit never ends. It’s a like modern day spin of the biblical plagues of yore. God thought to himself in 2008, I must do something to get through to these earthly creatures. The populace of today won’t care about locusts, animals dying or water turning into blood, humans have science to fix all of that. Why don’t I do something that is really traumatic—take their money away and turn their economy upside-down!

Something that is 2009 is as high on the lame list as the rising rate of unemployment. As soon as you think that things couldn’t get any worse, it can. Case in point: you loose your job, your boyfriend dumps you, you find out your apartment (that you rented post-break-up) has cockroaches, you car breaks down and you have a death in the family. Now that is soo 2009.