Captain Status

Captain Status: someone who constantly updates their status via the many social media networks. Captain Status we salute you! It is you who thinks that we (the people) care about your every breath, thought, occurrence and, even, ingestion. You are your own sports announcer—giving us the play-by-play of your oh-so fascinating life. I can hear it now over the loud speaker announced with the zeal of an imminent grand slam accompanied by the roar from the stadium, he gets out of bed, he drinks the best coffee ever, he looks hungry, he’s going for the sesame bagel. Oh no, wait, the crowd is in suspense—he selects the apple fritter and he could go all the way! He hops in his car, drives around the block, avoids the cop and arrives to work on time—a home run!

With the BlackBerry, iPhone and the progeny of Smart Phones out there updating your status has become even easier leading to the false assumption that C.S.'s status needs to be updated—ah, no one in the Whole World Wide Web knows what I ate for lunch! Sure I want to hear about your day, but leave something for the imagination. Like the why-buy-the-cow saying goes, why should I hang out with you when I can find out know all I need to know about you via your hourly tweets? Have you heard of over communication or how about interpersonal communication? (You know that thing where you meet people in person and you exchange words communicated through the movement of lips as opposed to the “conversation” generated through a frenetic movement of fingertips.)

For you Captain Status I have a tribute to you reminiscent of my 1980s’ youth.

Facebook
Twitter
GChat
LinkedIn
Smart Phones

Update Status!

Social networks and technology combine to make Captain Status

Captain Status, what a zero
You post when you eat a gyro

He is social media glorified
And he is adding friends to boost his pride

Captain Status, what a zero
You post when you eat a gyro

Going to tweet 100 times today
Because virtual communication is the only way

We are Captain Status
And you can be one too!
Cuz perpetually updating is the thing to do.

The Status is Yours!