The Pepper Scale

The Pepper Scale: is a rating scale for how hot someone is. You control the pepper scale, there can be as many levels of heat as you crave, all the way up to the spiciest. Note: This scale is not for everyone, the person needs to be at least a little spicy to make the chart.

First on the scale is the bell pepper. These sweet peppers add only a little flavor to the situation, but no heat; they are neither attractive, nor ugly. Overall, meh.

Next up is the Anaheim. This mild pepper has just a little heat and features better than average looks—maybe it comes in the form of nice eyes or a warm smile.

The jalapeno follows the Anaheim and ups the heat quotient. A chile pepper found flavoring nachos and spicing up salsas, this level of heat is rather common, but hot none the less. This isn't the hottest pepper around, but whether it comes in the form of a nice hair or a hot ass—they are packing some heat. A great personality can make the pepper hotter!

Cayenne is hot, hot, hot. This spicy fruit (yes, it is considered a fruit, I actually looked it up) is virtaully the total package. Finding a cayenne pepper is more rare than a jalapeno because they boast the best features, and the most rare types have the charisma to match. But watch out, once you decide you can take the heat, these puppies can burn you.

Habañero, one of the hottest peppers of all, this person is supermodel hot—just too hot to handle. Before this caliente character you can hardly speak, like you ate a habañero, you're mouth (and your whole body) is on fire. This kind of heat your rarily experience in person and is most often observed via the TV, in magazine spreads, on billboards or on the big screen.